Josh Occasionally

2008 highlights…

So many happenings… yet so little space for writing…

Let’s go to my 08 highlights…

I had an accident in august 25… knock my knee…

I had a really heart breaking day on Sep 20th…

We are done, 2018 29.09.08…

I moved to Casa Utama 1-09 then 2-10…

I bought my first Absolute Vodka…

Went for Deepavali Open House with Chee Hong, Chong Han, Shang Pin, Su Gim and Tze Hooi. All time lowest attendance.

Earn two months rent myself… for November and December…

Read and bought over 8 books within 2 months…

Went on Hibernation…

Graduation Ceremony on Oct 12th…

Walk an hour from CU to MS…

Got my car back on 31st December…

Practice more Bokkendo than ever…

Found some extremely powerful training tips…

Pass my 2nd Drivers License Test with one try again…

Visit public hospital(dentist) for the first time in so many years…

Got a new pair of Adidas Predator Swerve…

Nothing more to add…

later…

Well, it’s been a long time since my last entry…

So many things have occurred since then…

So many changes, wasted time, untaken opportunity, undeserved kindness and much more…

I have raised myself to another level of advancement as i have always kept my promise to better myself at all times…

As much as i have said, my entry today was because of an accidental revival of my past during a conversation with a close friend… My soul was deeply shaken and my heart tremble violently with fear, anxiety, sadness and my strength was sapped… I realized that i was suffering, from within and this moment of reality brought me back to my roots…

I have been going strong during the lull in my writing… yet a weaken soul i turned yesterday in a second… such vulnerability… i was unable to smile or laugh wholeheartedly since then… i have no happiness left for the moment…

While i have been helping my frens, i help myself little… i feel cursed by my own vulnerability… i m a shaken man… with no regards for living or death at the moment…

I seek strength, acknowledgments and advice now from others yet my ego stops me from revealing my vulnerability… Am i just trying to be human or am i seeking pity? Am i a pretender and ego maniac? Am i weak? So many questions on myself yet so many ignored answers…

I contradict myself at all times to seek the true me, yet in the process I’ve lost some part of me… Reflection and contemplation, i feel i am lost yet i know that i am not… such contradiction is just…….

I have learn to balance with the concept of Yin and Yang, learn to let go with the Power of Releasing, learn to master my mental blueprint by controlling it’s ideas, learn to express myself martially with Bruce Lee’s philosophy and many more… but this void and pain in my heart is unbearable… i feel weak yet as i write this i have no sickness…

My emotions is my weakness and yet it is my strength… I have learn to master it before yet yesterdays reminder shaken me totally so much it has change my soul like the Dutch Total Football changes the football world…

I acknowledge human weakness yet unable to accept my own, hypocrite me?? I know i have tried to be true… I feel powerless to stop this void within me now… I have suicidal ideas yet i know i am not that going to do anything that i will regret… I have goals and dreams to achieve yet i want to end my world…

I know me… that’s what i said to all, but do i really? I know i can read others and help them, yet i couldn’t help myself as much… I am pathetic…

I have learn from the best, and grown to be among the best. Yet i really wonder, what it means to be the best? I have seek only the basic things in life and yet my dreams drives me to achieve more… is that a sin? a strength? a weakness? or another contradicting thought by me?

Whatever plan i had for today was further ruin… i am ruin forever is what i want to say, yet i mind tells me i am not…. i am just full of negative thinking… and now i questions, what is negative thinking? unproductive thinking? now i questions it again… i can’t stop questioning myself every single moment…

Music i am listening to just makes me feel more vulnerable.. I’ve been having a bad time since yesterday… i feel like crying, really really need a hug by someone who cares… i have been emotional before yet never as tough as now… i want to hold onto someone, just be comforted… yet i think if i am trying to get pity from others? am i trying to be human or acting victim? I have courage yet not today… i have strength yet not today… i have intelligence yet not today…i have heart yet not today… i m lost and i have a void within me…

St. V day yesterday was my 21 year old St. V and instead of a happy loving day it turned out to be my worst St. V of all… and now i am seeking to learn from this lesson while i wanted some comfort… what contradictions again…

Argh…. argh…. argh…. i wanted to shout out at the top of my lungs and cry… yet my ego doesn’t allows my actions to be witness by anyone… i have so much hurt within now…

I can’t go on anymore if this feeling continue…

I ‘ve loss part of my heart too much… slowly but too much for me to bear…

Today’s Sunday, 4th of May 2008. Woke up at 12.35pm and feels a little dizzy cause slept too much.
Yesterday had a great time visiting the Lake Gardens downtown KL with my gf. We visited the National monument, Butterfly Park, Hibiscus and Orchid Park. Unfortunately we din manage to go to Bird Park, Tun Abdul Razak Monument, Police Museum , etc cause raining.

3.1 National Monument
Our first stop for the day, the Great National Monument of Malaysia aka Tugu Negara.
Full of tourist and the hot sun. maybe they should build more cover around the area cause it’s freaking hot and scorching. If i had stayed longer would have become a part of the exhibition. Haha!
After walking around and buying some souvenirs, we got on the car to our second destination, The Butterfly Park.

3.2 Butterfly Park
After a short drive across the road, i found myself in front of Bukit Aman, The Royal Malaysian Police HQ. Damn the guard on duty looks smart and sleepy… hahaha…
Driving on slowly i finally found the sign of Butterfly Park. After parking my car we walk to the entrance and bought our ticket, 2 adults plus a camera is RM17. The minute i walk in, it was amazing to actually believe that such a wonderful place exist in Malaysia. Butterflies flying around seeking shelter from the sun and around you. The lush growth of plants and forestry is amazing. Just can’t stop taking pictures of flowers and butterflies. Great haven for nature and butterfly lovers i say.
Saw a snake while there, the park attendants tried to capture the snake but it was so fast slithering away into the bushes. Great start to a great place i guess. The attendant said that the same snake had evaded capture for over 6-7 times and had a bounty on it’s head, interesting development. The visitors spent all the fish food feeding the fishes but overlook the hungry tortoise that emerged from another pool to get some fish food. There are some other animals like rabbit, gecko, scorpion, lizards in exhibits around the park compound. Visitors have to do some walking to see them all.It took both of us about 2 hours 30 minutes to simply finish the visit, quite a long one compared to other visitors. Finally left the park and went searching for some food for lunch. Bought some kebab near National Mosque and then journey on to our next destination, Hibiscus and Orchid Park.

3.3 Hibiscus and Orchid Park
Our last destination, Hibiscus and Orchid Park is located nearby the Butterfly Park. Drive in and had to pay entrance fee of only rm2 because it’s weekend. According to the guards, weekday visits are free. Drove a little while to reach parking area and had our lunch on the bench. The kebab ain’t good, so not recommended to dear readers to try. After lunch we walk around Hibiscus Park, taking photos and strolling around. Then a short walk to the Orchid Park which i would say is fantastic p[lace to visit. The varieties of Orchids are amazing and the landscape is beautifully design and maintain. Definitely a must visit destination for all tourist. Took us an hour to tour the Orchid Garden and worth every minute of the time spent. In the end we have to return cause the rain is starting again.

All in all, had a great time and wish all to have a great time too. Any inquiries plz dun hesitate to email or message me. Have Fun!

At long last, the annual gathering for Deepavali at Puan Kanaga’s house…
What a wonderful day it is… had so much fun chatting with all my friends and meeting pals whom some i have not met for a couple of years…
As always, Great food provided by our generous Puan Kanaga. Really glad i made it this year…
Had a futsal game after that at Taman Saga Futsal Court around 5.30pm with a Woody, Chuah, Hong, Jia Xing & Rocket. Really Crazy day… took a few videos and some pictures…

Really Had A Lot of Fun…

that’s all… too lazy to write the details…

Crap…
Sem 5 is already over and now m in the middle of sem 6th already…
T.F.O is pending and a lot of things have yet to be done…
Been Lazying around too much…
God plz give me strength to continue…
Assignment due this week and i have not accomplish anything yet…
Need to write things down so when i go berserk u know the reason…
M very tired and sick and i really am sick and tired…
TFO 2007, plz be blessed with all the best that could occur with the worst…
Hahaha….
Crap… late for class and i still haven’t slept nor bath nor eaten yet…
Gotta go… chao ppl…

New path, new journey…   

I believe in the saying…

When a new journey starts, life is terrifying… u wonder what could happen and imagine the end of the journey… excited and a little scared… u trope along the path… one step at a time… learning as u go… as time passes, u make friends and foes… time will come when your journey ends… as you came to the crossroad where your paths are divided again like the old… and a new path is chosen for your next journey… you now leave behind the love, passion and hate of the old journey as you start your next journey… leaving behind you… the friends and foe…

I am feeling sad right now as i wrote this words… My heart are sore without cure… my eyes are wet without tears… my hands are trembling without fear… and my mind is sad to the core…

As of today…
My friends are leaving to take on their new paths… their journeys in my path ends as they reach their crossroad… i do not wish for our journey to end… as we had gone through the rough patches together, arms in arms… we have gone through the merry times and had fun together… our relations are as strong and firm as a mountain could hold… we are brothers by heart and friends by name… we know what place our hearts have for each other… our love, brotherly love…
may i say this my brothers, I LOVE U ALL…
I would live my life as good as i could as we progress in our journey of life…
So as to fulfill our unspoken words… that each of us live well…

Therefore… i shall always keep my allegiance to my Brothers Oath…
"Brothers in Arms, Brothers Forever"
…Our paths shall cross again…. someday…
…We will meet again… someday…
…We shall merry again… someday…

I will always love and care for all…
will miss u guys…

*dedicated to Todor(Paprika), Gordon(G&T), Maged(Crazy), Adool(Cool), Adnan(Coke), Farah(Djitu), Momen(Wise), Muaffa(Diarra), Raymond(Genki desuka), Paul, Mohamed, Teh(Susu), Kit Wai(Roketer), Soon Yong(Rivaldo), Chuah(Octopus), Kar Wey(Henri), Sherwood(Woody), Zei Pei(EZ), Chee Hong(Hong), Alex(Gay 1), Sean(Gay 2), Sudhan and many more brothers… Live your life as well as u can…

Sem 5 finally started… cant wait for holidays again… xD
August got 1 month holiday… muah hahahaha…
This time gonna plan a futsal match again… ^.^ n make sure everyone can join… haha…
Month of Jun…
Going on SC trip…
Going back for business…
Just cant stop making life better…

All i write here is almost crappy… haha..
Got nothing to do…

It has been a long time since i wrote on my blog..

Today is the 11th of May, it has been just been 2 days ago when i had this close encounter to death… on the 9th of May…

After a fun outing with 3 of my friends, i was driving to my uncles house for a party… in my sister’s car, alone on the road as the sun sets behind me… the sky are turning darker by the moment and my sister’s car’s radio is dead… i m feeling so tired n lonely in the car and can’t stop thinking about going to my uncle’s place where their warmth would cheer me up…

Driving… and it start drizzling… just 15 minutes more…

N… i dazed off a couple of seconds… n wack… i woke up driving my car… knowing that i couldn’t afford to sleep while driving…

10 minutes to go… n then i had a preview of an accident in my head…the car hit another car n flip over n crash… then "BOOM!" the car explodes… that explosion spark my sixth sense that danger is incoming n i open my eyes wide… there in front of me less than 5 meters aways is a car n i am heading real fast towards it… i turn my wheel sharp to my left and as i did that, boom… i had already knock my sis car against another car… fortunately i didn’t loss control n manage to keep the car running straight… after a few meters, i signal the car to the left n park my car by the roadside… i was getting dizzy but still got out of the car to check the damaged done…  my sis’s precious kancil was scratch in a line on the left side of the car, the left view glass is gone n the wheel rim cover is scratch in dark colours… fortunately the lights are intact but the left door cannot be open that wide cause the bent cause by the scratch… Damn it… i got into an accident in my sister’s car… she is gonna scold me like hell for that… i look back n cant see the other car cause it’s too dark…. the car is in dark colours n without lights on… as i remember…

So i continue driving to my uncle’s house… glad to reach there finally… got screwed real badly by my sister… n i cant drive her car anymore… T.T

I guess my time is not up yet… really thankfull that i am still alive… I shall live this life better than before… that’s my promise…

I shall be a better man every second… till my time is up…

Live Life to the Fullest…

KBU Prom Night 2007
Theme: Rouge Vogue
Date: 23rd March 2007
Venue: Crown Plaza Mutiara, KL

My Timeline of Prom Night
0945, Just wake up… forget have to gather at SSD at 9am.. ^.^"

1010, arrive at coll… everyone gathered… i m not the last one yet.. haha…

1100, KK drive me to 1U for me to get my clothes.. Last minute shopping.. ^.^" can’t really decide… went to Padini at Oval then back to Jusco Padini…

1200, met Bala n Jia Hua… help him to choose a shirt…
finally he found 1 he like… then i went to look for mine… got a nice fitting coat,
then shirt n then pants… all from Seed… total.. RM494… good investment i guess… but i bleed so much… T.T

1300, had lunch with Bala & Co, then went back to collect my clothes because i ask them to iron it… then Bala ask them to iron his for him.. wait xtra 30 minits… went Nike store n then went Toy’R'Us… play football n sword fighting inside… haha…

1330, went to take Bala’s shirt then he fetch me to Taman Bahagia Lrt…

1400, finally arrive at Lrt station because of traffic jam…

1420, arrive at KL Central… should have gone to Dang Wangi… met Tony n Claudia at the entrance…  went on Monorail to go to Crown Plaza at Raja Chulan… wait around 5 minutes before Monorail came…

1440, arrive at Crown Plaza Mutiara… superb hotel… met Mhong n Benji at the entrance… went to the hall… everyone is doing rehearsal n preparation… din do much there…

1500, went up to room 716, Benji’s room… with Terence, Sanjay, Kok Yao, n a couple of gals who went to room 715… i change to room 717, KK’s room because i cant stand the smoke of ppl smoking inside Benji’s room… Had a rest… Albert n Wen Wei n Au Yong n KK is there… Later Rizal came, then Chee Hou came in to bath, Wai also came to bath then Win Hoe n his fren came to bath…

1630, i finish bathing.. have to change into my clothes n prepare to go down…

1700, i went down to get my hair n makeup done… Bianco is fantastic… my face just get little powder.. fortunate no pinky blush anymore… haha… then the worst thing happened.. Sok Teng’s mobile is stolen… damn it… i hate when things like this happen… I stood guard at the door while Rizal did spot check… but the culprit managed to get away… damn…

1800, have to get busy… things needed to be done asap… lot that’s left yet… everyone start to increase the working pace…

1830, guest started to come in trickle… because there is a bad traffic jam…

1900, guest still coming… still busy, but managed to take picture once in a while with everyone… haha…

1930, the show started… lucky draw for early birds… i forget my own ticket number… din get the prize…

2000, finally the crowd is on… the hall is almost full… show is going smoothly…

2100, Fashion Show runs smoothly n the Sponsors, Bum & Diesel like what they see… Models did a great job…

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